the hundred dresses
Our May mother-daughter book club pick was The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes. What an amazing book! Written in the mid-1940's, it's a timeless story about fitting in, being different, being imperfect, exclusion and forgiveness. Our girls are ages 8-10 and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time.
Ellen and I hosted book club this time and that in itself was incredibly special. It was the first time we've ever planned and thrown a party together. We planned the craft activity (making dresses for Webkinz critters), the "give back" (everyone brought dresses to donate to girls living in our domestic violence shelter), and the discussion (we did an activity centering on connection and fitting in).
The three main characters in the book (all young girls) represent the classic bully, bullied and bystander roles. Of course, Eleanor Estes' insight predates these labels and what we know about bullying. One of the most powerful moments came when I posed these questions to the group:
1. Who has felt left out?
2. Who has excluded someone?
3. Who has stood by and watched someone be excluded?
I think the girls were surprised/relieved to see all of the moms' hands go up for every one of these. I think it's easy for kids to think that we eventually escape from these situations. Maybe our vulnerability is normalizing for them.
The girls had such powerful ideas and insight about our capacity to both exclude and be excluded. Whew!
It was a great experience for me and Ellen. We had so much fun buying material and ribbon, grocery shopping, making this video and even cleaning up. As we were picking pictures for the video, Ellen shouted, "Oh mom! I have the perfect song for the video. Let's use Outside Looking In (Jordan Pruitt) from the Disney movie, Read It and Weep." Of course, it's the perfect song!
To our very special book club - thank you for sharing an afternoon with us! We had a great time. We're always looking for fun book ideas for girls 8-10. If you have ideas, please share!
05.19.2008 | by Brené Brown | in mom/daughter book club Share Article Email Article Print Article 14 Comments
Reader Comments (14)
Ugh. Think I still need some therapy for this one?
Anyway, great idea about the book club, and it looks like you throw quite the shindig. Will definitely get this book for Priya and I...to have our own little discussion about fitting in and not excluding people.
We are all children of God. And, we should treat each other as such.
Great post.
Anyway, I do have some suggestions. Books by Jean Little, Lois Lowery, or Barbra Smucker would generate lots of feeling and discussion.
If you ever want a break from the chapter books go for something by Eve Bunting or Patricia Polacco. Last week I was subbing in a grade 2 class and read Fly Away Home to them (Eve Bunting). I asked the class if they liked sad books and they looked at me like I was from Mars. Then I asked them if they'd ever read a sad book before and I got the same clued out look. So I told them all about Eve Bunting and how she can make your heart feel sad, but somehow hopeful by the words that she writes. As I was reading the book there was not a peep, not a fidget, not a sigh. They were eating out of her hands. She had them wrapped right up in her story. At the end there was just silence. I LOVE when I book can do that to a gathering of people. The Sunshine Home, One Green Apple, The Wall, So Far From the Sea. She also has some chapter books, Blackwater and The Summer of Riley look good but I haven't read them.
Veronique
I can hardly wait to do a mother-son book club with Charlie. Won't that be awesome? I mean amazing.
If you're thinking about doing a mother/son club, The Invention of Hugo Caberet is a great one (ages 8-10). Our girls loved it too. Don't let the size scare you!
Jen - I still cry when I think back on some of those moments growing up. It's funny because my hard stories (and Steve's) seem to bring the most healing to Ellen when she's feeling alone. She often curls up in my lap and says, "Can you tell me one of your lonely feeling stories?" When she does that I know something is going on.
Can you tell us how you got started, what the rules are (yes, my daughter has the same handicap of a first born of first borns), how the thing is structured?
See you in September at the next meeting - unless you want to sneak off to a movie before then...
xo Bonnie