In my last post I wrote about the stress of having to cancel co-leading a retreat when Steve got so sick. Even though it was an easy decision, it still pushed a couple of my shame buttons (Is she dependable? Is she flakey?). It was also disappointing. It was my first invitation to Laity Lodge and I was presenting with the amazing Jeanie Miley.

Yesterday I received the kindest card in the mail. It was a card wishing Steve a quick recovery and letting me know that I was missed at the retreat - it was signed by the retreat participants. I was so touched by the kindness and generosity of these strangers.

I also continue to be grateful for all of your comments. Professionally and personally, I know that sharing struggle is difficult because our culture often confuses vulnerability with weakness (I have an entire section in my book called "The Strength of Vulnerability").

When we want to be honest about our tender places, we often have to push past the tapes that say, “Don’t let them know you’re struggling! They’ll think less of you. They’ll feel sorry for you.” Those fears are confirmed when we get sympathy instead of empathy and judgment instead of compassion.

When I write about the dark places and the hard times, I’m so grateful when you respond by connecting with your own struggles and your own vulnerabilities. When I write about the joy and grace in my life, I’m inspired when you share your own moments of greatness with me. I’m also grateful when we can laugh together. That’s how compassionate communities are built (on-line or next door).

The opposite of vulnerability is not strength. Vulnerability is strength. And sometimes the kindness of strangers is exactly what you need to remember that you’re not alone.