pay attention

I could cry (I'm experienced in this area).

I could pretend like it's not happening (I love denial).

I could act like it doesn't matter (not so good at this one).

Maybe I'll just make sure that I'm paying attention. Every single day.

This is really happening.

Comments

[Deb]

Yes, the Last's are painful and sad. I have one daughter as yet not married out of three. So hopefully still have a Last wedding and a Last grandchild ahead. One out of three daughters just had her Last baby.(actually a year ago!) Hard for her and also hard for me. : ( Hard to believe I have a daughter old enough to be done with childbearing.
Treasure every day. First and Last. : )

[Anj]

Beautiful and bittersweet. Reckon you're on the right path with simply paying attention :-)

[Carmen Torbus]

They grow up way too fast don't they?

Hang in there momma!

[Jeanette]

Our role as Moms is to watch our children grow. Seek comfort knowing that Ellen is your mirror, inviting grace, joy and gratitude in her life as you do. It's hard, sad, painful, amazing and extraordinarily joyous to watch our children grow. The picture of my 32 year old and 29 year old, 5th grade picture is forever imprinted in my heart. It happens so fast, cherish every moment, every stage, every tear, every joy....

[The Other Laura]

Max started school on Monday and I'm still walking around the house muttering "holy sh*t, THIRD GRADE!"

[Jessica Hayman]

Sigh...it's happening here too. I attempted to walk Zoe to her 1st grade class today. As we went in the front door of the school she grasped hands with her friends and fearlessly launched herself into the wonderful exciting world of 1st grade.
The image of her: friends on either of side, (we can brave this new and exciting world together!) long hair swinging behind her, and her refusal (need?) to NOT look behind her for me is an picture I will carry forever. Tears of pride and sadness are some of the sweetest I will ever taste.

[Kelly Warren]

so true. my twin girls started 1st grade this week too, jessica. how they'd get to be so big so fast. 5th grade, brene! yep, watching every day. it's all those little things that add up to the big things. i've started taking more videos (now that I found a camera I can actually figure out how to get the videos out of....) and i've watched the one i took of them monday dozens of times already.

[Jana]

You have so much to be proud of...enjoy it all! :)

[Brené Brown]

more video! i love that idea kelly. someone just emailed me from ohio and suggested the same thing. she said i should interview charlie about his arm and ask him to tell the story of what happened. i'm going to do it!

[Susan Chavira]

Brene,

I have been a single mother of my Lauren since she began kindergarten. Two weeks ago, along with her best friends entered Glasgow High School as Seniors. It was brilliant as they all met in a parking lot, decorated their cars and we had arranged a police escort for them to enter the parking lot' As I saw her car approach the parking lot, I shed tears of joy, fear, panic and pride in the young wonderful women she is growing up to be. At that moment, I remembered the exact outfit she wore in Kindergarten and I wondered where the years had gone. You can see the pictures on my facebook page, Susan Chavira.
I did shed many tears the night before as I wrote to her in a special card( I had ordered from compendium). In that card, I vowed to her that we were going to celebrate every minute of this year, like never before.
On another note, you have no idea how much your blog helps me. When I read the second chapter of your new book, I felt as if you had been sitting on my shoulder for the last couple of years. I have probably read it 20 times and shared it with my friends!
If I had one wish right now, it would be that I could sit across the table from you and share my story and receive your wisdom and inspiration.

[Dalya White]

WOW! I remember the kindergarten Ellen and my has she grown up, just as Mya has. This will be a real transitional year for our girls both academically and probably physically....ugggghhhhhh!!! So thanks for the reminder to pay attention. I will and I must!

[Lisa Rough]

As someone who just watched my children walk into school for the first day this morning (1st grade and 4th grade), your simple, sweet post touched me beyond words. Thank you for sharing...

[Sarah Craig]

Elizabeth is only 10 weeks old and I am SHOCKED by how quickly THAT happened! I have to remind myself on a daily basis to PAY ATTENTION because this "baby stage" of her life will be gone before I know it! Thank you for giving me another reminder.

[Melynda]

When I was a blithe and childless college student, I made money helping new moms transitionfrom hospital to home (as the oldest of 7, I was *good* with babies). I remember coming into the living room of one of my moms to find her in tears with her 2 week old on her lap. "She's already changed so much. I miss my baby," she sobbed. As I offered consolation, cup of tea, and a recommendation for a joint nap time, I secretly rolled my 18 year old eyes. Honestly.

You know what payback is, don't you, ladies? It's having to take the day off for First Day of School every year, because you know you've got to finish crying those bittersweet tears before the kids get home, and it's going to take most of the morning just to remember those sweet babies growing into these enormous people--and this year that includes starting high school.

[Mel]

I had this the other day with a baby photo of my daughter and a recent one... What happened and why did it go so quick? It's Wednesday already and it feels to me this week hasn't even started...

[Kerridwen Niner]

I can so relate and mine hasn't yet started school, every day i look at him and see him thinking about what he's going to say and listening to the words that come out of his mouth and reminding myself that it wasn't supposed to be that long ago that he was a baby and now he's nearly 4!

[gem]

awesome is the word that comes to mind...
some kind of awesome...

[Sonia Mascaro]

So beautiful!

[Renae C]

All we can do is pay attention and help them celebrate each moment. My 5th grader looks so grown up (just like Ellen does) and my 1st grader also launched herself fearlessly into the school year with friends in tow. I think I have grieved the process less since I am in the process with them - launching into my clinical experience just as they launched into their educational one this year. So we are all marking milestones together.

And I am determined to help my girls celebrate their growing up and growing into young women in a way that honors who they are and gives them courage instead of instilling fear or shame. Recently, and I'm guessing throughout this 5th grade year, that will mean celebrating the physical process more than we have in the past. Choosing to honor that process "out loud" and in a meaningful way (which I haven't completely figured out yet) is an important separation from my own family history.

So, we march into a new year (does the calendar ever cease to be marked on "school time"?) and we face the fears and the joys and the changes as best we can. Knowing I'm not in it alone certainly does help.

I hope Ellen has a wonderful first week of school. And I hope Charlie mends quickly and well and enjoys his status while he's mending - who could resist THAT LIP?

[Mallory]

And soon she'll be a woman as wonderful as her mother!

[HeightsMom]

Sigh .... my one and only started her first day of Preschool on Thursday. She looked like such a big girl and was sooo excited. Me? I didn't make it out of the parking lot before bursting into tears. It's going by so fast ...

[monica]

ditto.

[Dee Dee]

Seeing tigers above and tigers below, the wise woman enjoys a delicious strawberry...that's what I heard on a Pema Chodron CD just this morning (3rd day of 3rd grade; 2nd day of dropping off from car...oww!). You're a wise one to go with paying attention and savoring each moment and day and change. Like any act of faith, it all turns out better than we could have imagined and the process is pretty amazing too.

[Sandi]

Here's another option - you could celebrate. You could celebrate that she is growing and learning and becoming a whole person. You could celebrate her successes, and even celebrate her failures because now, after all that you've experienced, you know that it's both successes and failures that make us who we are. (I think that it's the failures early in our lives that help us develop strength for later.) You could celebrate that she is one year closer to becoming your friend, as well as your child. You could also celebrate that hand on the hip and the confident smile.

And boy, does she look like you!

[angelawd]

Gee, I know this is difficult and sweet all at once. I think you're in the best place you can be, just being there and paying attention. It really does go so fast, and then one day you wake up and your oldest is 22 (like mine). Aren't we blessed to live in a time when there are so many options for preserving our memories?

[Davinie]

My eldest is headed to Kindergarten in a couple of weeks and I'm scared to death! :)

[Sue K]

Yes, pay attention to every moment that you can while they are growing up. Everyone is right, they grow up too darned fast. One day you turn around, and they are heading out on their own ....it goes by in a heartbeat!
Now, I am watching my grandkids grow up too fast. As you get older, the days and weeks just fly by. Much too fast for this old lady!!!!

[Karen]

My son entered 5th grade this year, too. Nurture them. Protect them. LOVE them!

[Alyice]

Just wait until she goes off to college. I still cannot believe my son is old enough to start college this year. I had a huge post on the house being empty since he left, over at my blog: http://www.alyiceedrich.com/2009/08/28/thanks-for-the-little-things/

[Claudia]

That is beautifully said.

[Sherry]

It seems to happen in the blink of an eye. Like waiting to watch the buds on trees turn into leaves..one day they are buds, the next morning fully into leaf and I wonder how I missed it. Paying attention. It's the tonic and the remedy -- and the best part of all.

[medical tourism]

Every single moment of the day is very important so lets pay attention to it.
God bless everyone!. Days just go by so fast until one day you'll just realize that they are all grown-up.Your daughter has grown-up into a very beautiful lady.

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