a wholehearted thank you to veterans

I want to thank the men and women who serve our country. I'm grateful for your courage. To your children and your parents and your partners - I recognize your sacrifice and my family keeps you in our prayers. Thank you.

I had the extraordinary opportunity to work with a group of veterans and military family members on a shame resilience project in one of my classes at the University of Houston. It changed my life. It made me realize how much I can do and why my politics and my beliefs about war shouldn't stop me from reaching out with compassion and connection.

I will always be grateful for that experience and for what I've learned interviewing veterans about their experiences. I am forever changed. I'm the first to clap at the airport. I want to buy your coffee or your lunch. I want to do something to say, "You're not alone. Your struggle is my struggle. Your trauma is my trauma. Your healing is my healing."

My good friend Laura Mayes, who actually won an Emmy for the first video, posted this Community Coffee link this morning - it's such a great idea. I hope you will join me in reaching out. A simple "thank you for your service" can mean the world to someone.

Comments

[Deb J]

Oh how I agree. Thanks for the video and the link.

[Erin Woods]

I thought I cried at soup commercials! These both SO touched my heart. Thank you for the gentle reminder to not only be grateful, but to express that gratitude - whenever and however we can.

[Ben Easton]

As jaded as I can get - these cut through my defenses. Very nicely done.

I have been in the habit of rephrasing this holiday as "Armistice Day," which is the original title of this special day. Armistice means "truce" or "temporary peace during a battle/war." Today, though, I'm going to let the newer title, VETERANS DAY, be what I celebrate. It puts the emphasis on the men and women who directly made, and are making, the ultimate investment in our freedom and security.

[Laura Mayes]

Thank you for writing about this. You said it all, perfectly. And yeah, I was lucky enough to be a small part of a large team that worked to honor military families. I was a writer on this public service campaign, which the US Family Health Plan did with the National Military Family Association during the Year of the Military Family. And working on this program did completely open my eyes and change my perspective on lots of things. I love that.

[Micaela V.]

Well said! Thank you for the link/videos. I am married to a veteran and it has really changed my perspective on military service and the true thanks they deserve!

[Lee]

Thank you for remembering the families too. I am 6 months into this deployment, I've had sick kids for two weeks running, stabbed myself carving the pumpkin, comforted my daughter last night when she confessed that she was scared her dad would be killed because he's in the army (she's only FIVE), navigating a bullying situation with my son, attending 6 scout events in the next 2 weeks, going on an overnight trip with my son's homeschool group, volunteering at my daughter's school, hosting Thanksgiving (because I'm in the middle), squeezing in a mammogram (and some humor), not holiday shopping yet (ack!), and working out constantly trying to keep the stress-eating pounds at bay.

My husband is out on a supply truck somewhere and hasn't been able to call for a week, so I go through each day telling myself "he's OK, he's OK, he's OK."

A friend surprised me last night by keeping my oldest all afternoon and then bringing takeout for all our kids and the two of us (Subway and Indian respectively). I can't tell you how much it made my day to have someone do that. If you know someone in my situation, call them and tell them you are bringing takeout/dinner and just sit and talk with them. I rarely dine with adults these days and it was a real treat.

This is a bit ramble-y but I wanted share a little of what it is like for the families and say thanks again for including us. We are part of the team.

[her bad mother]

In Canada, we call this Remembrance Day. It's for remembering, which is wonderful, but it's also just so, so important to recognize military families NOW. As Lee, in the comment above, makes so painfully clear, our support and love are needed for them, NOW.

I've given thanks today. I'll be passing this on to encourage others to do the same.

[Tia Sparkles Singh]

Lee, sending you love. As an Air Force brat (from India), I know firsthand how hard it is on families to have their dad/husband away for long periods of time. I'm glad you have support around you.

Brene, Imagine if we closed our eyes for a minute and sent love and light out to millions of people around the globe, this very instant? That's what I wish for us all.

Much love!

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

[Kay Marie]

My Husband is dying from ALS. The other term that people hear is Lou Gehrig's Disease. He is 57 years old and we have one son left at home who just turned 14. My Husband was honorably discharged from the National Guard after six years of service. Individuals that have served in the Military have a 60% increased incidence of this horrific, FATAL disease that has no treatment and no cure. This increased incidence of ALS has nothing to do with the branch of service, has nothing to do with being in a War Zone or overseas, has nothing to do with age-gender-race or the length of service. ANYONE who has ever been in the Military has a 60% chance of dying from this disease! Congress made ALS a Presumptive Service Connected Disease for Veterans in 2008. Unfortunately the Veterans Administration does not recognize anyone that served our Country in the Guards or the Reserves as a Veteran. ALS does not discriminate but our Federal Government practices discrimination. Please remember all of the men and women that have honorably served and protected our Country that were in the National Guard or the Reserves.

[Jet Harrington]

Lovely, Brené. It always comes down to compassion and connection.

I wondered what you meant when you said, "the first to clap at the airport". I'd never seen such a thing (perhaps Canadians are more reserved? or we don't have as many deployed troops? or maybe I just haven't spent enough time at airports?).

Whatever it is, that video put a lump in my throat and tears on my face. What a beautiful way to acknowledge those in the services. Do you clap like that when there is only one person in uniform?

Today, I wrote about remembering, too. http://scatterbeams.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/remembering/

[jag]

"It made me realize how much I can do and why my politics and my beliefs about war shouldn't stop me from reaching out with compassion and connection."

Oh my, how I needed to hear that. Thank you.
xox

[steve c]

Last year I was honored to work with a 23 year old Marine who had suffered a head injury due to an IED. I had agreed to provide his services pro bono because the VA had moved into maintenance mode, having done all the rehab they were willing to do. He worked hard at rehab. He impressed me by never complaining, always expressing optimism, and putting everyone at ease with his sense of humor. He had a secret weapon, his mother. She put her life on hold to fight the VA for services for him. At a time in her life that she had hoped to be watching him get married and maybe have a grandchild, she was caring for him 24/7. She did this without complaint, always thanking everyone for their help. I located a therapist for her to deal with grief and loss issues and depression. I worked with her younger son on anger issues. I wondered why the VA didn't provide family support services for her. This is not a cheery story, but I learned that you don't just send young men and women to war, you send their whole families. I learned something else too. If you want a remarkable child, start with an amazing mother.

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[Jan Ostendorf]

LOVE LOVE LOVE... This pure appreciation that we've expressed and witnessed via social networks... all the love.... this is perfection!!! pure, beautiful, perfection... if we ever were to witness it!

[Debbie]

As my marine father would say Semper Fi!

Thanks Dad...and all of you brave women and men who have served or are currently serving.

[Susan]

Thank you for your beautiful post and sharing the wonderful videos. As someone whose life has been irrevocably changed by service to our country your words mean a lot. Thank you.

[Gargi]

Thanks for posting the video Dr. Brown. Great work!

[Tracy]

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[Tina]

Thank you very much for this article - heartwarming. As the daughter of a conscripted Australian Vietnam Veterans serviceman, this year I remembered in a different way: http://youbloodyripper.com/2010/11/12/remembrance/. Thank you again - beautiful videos.

[Jenne]

I have always felt akward when I see soldiers in the airport...its like I want to say something but I don't know what to say. I think it is strange that we just don't acknowledge them. "Thank you for your service" is a great way to respond.

Thank you.