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The Gifts of Imperfection

I Thought It Was Just Me  

Connections

Publications CBC Radio CNN PBS Parents NPR PBS The Up Experience TEDxHouston TEDxKC
Publications
  • Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and Coupled Up
    Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and Coupled Up
    by Harriet Lerner

    Just finished reading an advance copy! Wonderful! 

  • The Boy Who Saved My Life: Walking Into the Light with My Autistic Grandson
    The Boy Who Saved My Life: Walking Into the Light with My Autistic Grandson
    by Earle Martin
  • Walking with Justice: Uncommon Lessons from One of Life's Greatest Mentors
    Walking with Justice: Uncommon Lessons from One of Life's Greatest Mentors
    by Mollie Marti
  • Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain
    Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain
    by David Eagleman
Publications
  • I'm Your Man
    I'm Your Man
    by Leonard Cohen

    Take this Waltz is on my top ten list of all songs!

  • I and Love and You
    I and Love and You
    by The Avett Brothers
Publications
  • Masterpiece Classic: Downton Abbey (Original UK Unedited Edition)
    Masterpiece Classic: Downton Abbey (Original UK Unedited Edition)
    PBS

    So totally addicted to this series! Absolutely amazing!

  • Zen: Vendetta / Cabal / Ratking [Blu-ray]
    Zen: Vendetta / Cabal / Ratking [Blu-ray]
    starring Rufus Sewell

    Based on your recommendations from a recent blog post! It's another wonderful BBC mystery series! 

  • The Good Wife: The First Season
    The Good Wife: The First Season
    starring Julianna Margulies, Chris Noth, Josh Charles, Matt Czuchry, Archie Panjabi

    One of the best shows on TV. Juiliana Marguiles is incredible. 

gifting
Tuesday
Jul202010

gone fishin' (for rest and inspiration)

I recently tweeted "Late July is the Sunday evening of the summer." Every Sunday, right around 3pm, I get so bummed about "back to school and work" that I can't even enjoy what's left of the day. By the time 60 Minutes starts I'm fighting off anxiety.

As part of my Wholehearted commitment, I've decided to sink into these last few weeks of summer and enjoy every drop of unscheduled time, lazy days, and fun house projects.

Our big project this summer is a new pool! It was supposed to ready on July 4th, but we've had so much rain that we're a few weeks behind schedule. If everything goes as planned, we'll be swimming this week! By the way - they finished filling the pool on Saturday night. On Sunday morning I went out to take my first look and dropped my iPhone right over the side. I have a feeling it won't be the last phone in the pool.

I'm also going to use this time to think through a blog overhaul. I'm not going to change the look, but I am considering a new writing commitment: blog five days a week. I'm thinking that I'd include a combination of posts - my reasearch, home life, opinion pieces, more inspiration interviews, etc.

If you have any suggestions or ideas for the blog - I'd love to hear them. It would be so helpful to know what you enjoy reading!

I'll be back in a few. Hope you're having a wonderful summer.

« talking about vulnerability . . . | Main | like mother, like yodeling pickle »

Reader Comments (49)

happy resting, playing, swimming, and living summer-style. re: your exquisite blog...loved your read-along, plus interviews and TGIF. would also love to know how you and others are integrating wholeheartedness into your daily lives. gracias.
07.20.2010 | Unregistered Commentermelissa
I LOVE you blog and your books! I think that the posts that I like the most are the ones where you are simply talking about ordinary things ~ little everyday moments ~ that you've taken notice of and documented. It's always those posts that seem to speak to me the most. And I'll admit it, I live a little bit vicariously through you (I don't have any children of my own), so it's always a treat to hear about the things you're doing with the kids, and the things that they say! Most of all, I love reading about how you are learning how to navigate your life, right along with the rest of us. It is so easy to feel isolated in this world, and you always provide so much inspiration and comfort as you share your stories. Really, I love everything you write...
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynne
I like the spread of ideas you have mentioned here. I am new to your blog, but I love blogs which talk about the daily process of life & finding beauty, peace & growth through it all.
Would also like to read more @ your research, as I find it so pertinant & fascinating.
New rule: no phones within 10 feet of the pool! :-)
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterSkye
I enjoy most the posts about your research, the stories about daily life from the point of view of your research findings and opinion pieces like the one on cell phones at the register.

Thanks a lot for asking and enjoy your new pool!
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela
I love them all. But I really love hearing about home life and the wonderful stuff that your kids say. Have a wonderful rest (both meanings) of the summer.
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterWanda
Wow. As I read your post I was caught off guard...to hear you plan to blog 5 days a week! I guess because I read your post about not wanting your kids to remember you....and then you added 2 pictures (one by computer and other on the phone--a classic I can relate to) I'm sure you have your reasons and of course on my end, the more the better.

I learn a lot when you talk about love, compassion, authenticity, the lists you make, and ALL your writing because it's reflective and speaks great truth.
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterNeri
I hear ya...rest, relax, regroup is my theme for this summer. I finished up your book last week, looking forward to your next book's release and I'm enjoying my lazy days of summer while there is time. So yes Brene...grab ya a glass of ice tea and get on that raft in the pool, put on your sun glasses and float around! Enjoy!
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnita
I remember when I started teaching high school, I described that same Sunday evening feeling to my mentor, who was one year shy of retirement. I couldn't understand it because I loved my work and my students. He told me he still got that same exact feeling on Sunday nights---a combination of performance anxiety and resentment for putting his own life on hold again for 5 days.
I stopped teaching after 7 years to be home with my kids, but I keep thinking I won't want to go back until I have figured out someway to lose at least the second half of that dilemma. Is it possible to teach without putting your own life on hold? I don't know of any other job that is as rewarding or as devouring.

I love your blog. All of it. I personally need help in the "taking the edge" off challenge without using unhealthy addictions to do it. Would love to hear more about how you do it.
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre
Brene - Your blogs are always such a gift to myself as I sit with a cup of tea and read what you are up to : ) There is always some treasure to be unearthed in your words of wisdom. I love hearing about your family, your research, your work and I especially love hearing how you dance the dance of authenticity with laughter and love. I think it's important for us to have the words to use when faced with challenges/opportunites for growth and as on of my teachers you have always given some great words!!! Oh, I also like seeing the pictures you've taken - so they should count for your 5 day goal - even if they just have a caption - since a picture says 1000 words ; )
Happy Summer!!!
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine G.
I would love to see posts with real-world applications of how to deal with shame, anxiety, the pressure we put on ourselves. Like, tips (breathe, count to 5, how to counter negative thinking, etc.) Also, love your perspective on women, friends, raising children. Thanks for putting this all out there. I give your book, I Thought it Was Just Me, to every woman friend! I can't wait for your next one!
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M.
I am excited that you are hoping to write more. I love the work and personal pieces best. As a high school teacher and mom to two daughters I am inspired by your work and your messages on anti-shame and perfectionism. My husband does anti-bullying work in elementary schools and I sometimes pass you over to him to read as well. Thanks for making yourself available to us.
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny W
Do whatever girl, just find a healthy balance! ;) Enjoy reading your updates and YOU enjoy some R & R
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterCassy
I love your writing style and feel like we're having a chat most of the time. I love your area of research and would like to hear more of what you're learning but, um, be true to you (someone I know talks about that on a blog somewhere - hehe).
and I agree with a previous commenter - find a healthy balance

Dierdre - I know lots of careers that devour your life like teaching - that's why it's best to love what you do if at all possible. Of course, the more you love it, the more it devours
I was drawn to your blog by your work as that feels like info I can't get enough of right now. Reading about your life has been an added bonus. I'd love to read more about how what you've learned from your research shapes your ideas about parenting.
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterJane
i like your photos (you take great authentic photos - not too much photoshopping I like that).... and posts about real life events - like the cell phone rudeness post. I usually can relate to most of your posts. Just speaking about how you feel is the best
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna
You said "Late July is the Sunday evening of the summer." Hmmm, maybe you should look at things from a slightly different perspective. Today was my first grader's first day of summer vacation here in Japan. Summer vacation is July 20th to August 31st for the kids here. Because the break comes between the first and second terms of the school year, there is homework and one morning of mandatory school attendance.

The kids here wholeheartedly embrace their "long" summer vacation. It's a time for summer festivals, fireworks, and bug catching. And while I'm nostalgic for my American summer vacations, I'm one of those kids who liked September as much as August.

If you are interested in learning more about my son's summer homework, I blogged about it here: http://zenbei.blogspot.com/2010/07/almost-summer-vacation.html

Enjoy the pool. I look forward to reading more blogs from you.
07.20.2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex
Oh yes for more blog posts! I suppose they are a lot more time- and energy consuming but I'm a huge fan of your podcasts and videos! Especially the podcasts are perfect for listening to while creating artworks. I love learning about shame resilience and how to create/enable/open up to feelings of love and belonging and self-worth and how to live authentically and emotionally honest.

Happy Summer days! ♥
07.21.2010 | Unregistered CommenterSteffi
Oh dear. Sorry to hear about your phone going overboard. What's that song..."mama said there would be days like this?" :-) When reading other's blogs, I enjoy reading about the many aspects of their life.....their work, family, creative endeavors, but most of all, honesty. And that's why your blog is such a delight! Cheers to you!
07.21.2010 | Unregistered CommenterDreaming Bear
This is exciting for me, Brene. I love reading your blog posts. Because you write in such a personal and authentic style, pretty much all of your posts speak to me in some meanigful way. I, like many other readers, am especially drawn to the posts about your work and your personal journey. I'm sure whatever you add will seem like more of a gift. Thanks.
07.21.2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrys
I am excited and distressed.

Excited because your blog is my absolute favorite- I scour my email every morning to see if there is a new post and then go to your blog to see if maybe my update hasn't been emailed yet (ok, maybe I am a little bit obsessive...). Love, Love, Love everything you write about because your voice is authentic and humorous. You can even keep me interested in football!

Distressed because a 5 day a week writing commitment seems like a lot. Maybe that is because I am not a writer- It takes me half an hour to write my little comments! Please remember that we love you because of the quality of what you write, not the quantity.

That being said- I do like the idea of more Brene (really, who wouldn't?) and my favorite writings are about you and your experiences in the day to day world. Oh and the photos! I do think that one of your photos would definitely count as a post!
07.21.2010 | Unregistered CommenterLorie
and I forgot to say: Enjoy this last hurrah of summer! Swim, play, laugh!!
07.21.2010 | Unregistered CommenterLorie
Just BREATHE! Yay! I love your work on authenticity, and bringing other gifted writers and artists into our world!

Love and hugs,
Karin B.
07.21.2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarin B
I can't wait to get an increase in posts if that is what you ultimately decide to do. The posts are thought-provoking and uplifting.
i'm coming out. i'm one of those sneaky quiet readers who never comments but looks forward to new posts like christmas.
more writing you say?
yes, yes.

xx britt hermann

www.britthermann.blogspot.com
07.22.2010 | Unregistered Commenterbritt
I loved the kitchen table podcasts you did for ITIWJM. I've pre-ordered your next book and hope you'll consider sharing in a similar fashion. You have a talent for transforming the concept of a book club!
07.22.2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly
Yeah! So happy for you and your family and the new pool! But I'm selfishly excited about you blogging 5 days a week (although hope it doesn't beome too stressful for you). I don't comment often - but love all of it. I think you have a nice combination of family antecdotes, humor, and thought-provoking research - and I like when you interview people, too. Hope you enjoy the rest of your summer!
07.22.2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie
I would LOVE to read Brene' (anything from Brene's) five days a week!!!!!
How wonderful!!

I felt sad when I read about your Sunday afternoon anxiety. I used to dislike Sundays for that reason. I know you love what you do so it must be the pressure you put on yourself and your perfectionism?
No one needs you to be perfect and you can't be. You are human. Even if all of us who adore you think you are more.
Take care of you Brene' and enjoy your pool!!!
07.23.2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeb
Brene', I am happy to read anything you write. You inspire me to be a better person. I have followed your work on shame and authenticity and this, in part, has helped to heal my brokeness. You have taught me so much..... so again I say, I am happy to read anything you write! Just don't stop!
07.23.2010 | Unregistered Commenterjanet
posting 5 days i week- !!! you go!!!!

having a pool has been a dream of ours- one of these days...but for now, too many pecan trees all around. it'd be a big mess and not worth it. enjoy yours! and the last few weeks of summer!
07.25.2010 | Unregistered Commenterkerri
I know that feeling well. Good for you for tackling it and making the decision to enjoy your time. Just found your blog and I love it.

Tilly x
07.26.2010 | Unregistered CommenterTilly
I think if you just sit down and activate the authentic you....the words that need to be spoken will be written.
Empowering people to be joyful and happy and know the answers are inside of them....is a path that would be beneficial to all.
07.27.2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrys kirkpatrick
I was so comforted to identify with your Sunday avo anxiety. I have it most Sunday's and try to get away from it as quick as possible cos I know it's sucking more time from my enjoyment of the moment. I have a feeling that I'm always running out of time, I think it's due in part to spending so many years "medicated". It's still difficult to have committments.
As far as your blog goes "keep it simple", let go and of course if you write more I would love to zip into a snippet of your life.
07.31.2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebs
Brene, I love your blog, and how open you are about your own struggles. This post made me think about my LOOONG history with Sunday Night Blues. I thought I was the only one, but apparently its common enough that there's a wikipedia entry about it, and Milo Clinic physicians give advice for treating it. I wrote my own post about it here: http://www.workingmomsbreak.com/2010/08/01/sunday-night-blues/
08.1.2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina
OK, it's been almost two weeks and I worry about you when you are gone this long!! Just like with my kids, I need a check-in! I'm all for a daily post.
08.3.2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathy
Brene: I've been reading your blog for a while and not posted before. I have found your work to be an inspiration. Everytiime I come to this blog, which is the first blog I've ever read :) I feel like I am part of a group of authentic, creative, and compassionate woman including doubts, fears, and shame. As long as we can recognize it as fear or shame then it doesn't hold power over us. So of course about you blogging more often...I would love it!!
08.6.2010 | Unregistered CommenterZulma
Missing your blog post, but enjoying your FB and Twitter comments :)
08.12.2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnita
Hello Brene! I just now found your blog. I am loving it & can't think what else you could do to improve it. But you know I love looking at pictures so keep that going! There can never be too many of those!

see ya!
Beth
08.13.2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Crocker
One more thing... I forgot to mention that the other day I just did a post on the same subject of summer coming to a close! Check it out...
http://www.thewayiseeitthroughmylens.blogspot.com
08.13.2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Crocker
Dear Brene,

Thank you for modeling self-care **and** positive goal-setting for all of us! I have also loved your blog and the variety of work that you post. It's real, open, deep, personal, academic, interactive, self-reflective....As for things that would be fun for me to read more about: 1) your teaching and learning more about your understanding of social work and what it brings to your work 2) the people, places, books, objects, and activities that bring you great joy, 3) balancing work, life, and family, 4) your continued journey of whole-hearted living
08.14.2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina
Just a thought: When you start research on a new topic can we be part of your databank? I'd love to respond to your research questions and have input that way!!! Also, curious about how you go about data collection!
08.20.2010 | Unregistered Commenterjenny
I like everything that you've done so far...your talks, your book, and your posts! Thank you for them! What I would really like to see MORe of are posts on parenting...things pertinent to raising kids in ways that may insulate them from the negatives you address in your work.
08.22.2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie
I am loving it & can't think what else you could do to improve it. But you know I love looking at pictures so keep that going! There can never be too many of those!
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