talking about vulnerability . . .

I'm popping in during these final three days of my summer sabbatical to share the TEDxKC video with you. Normally, I feel way too vulnerable to share video, but given that the talk is about the importance of vulnerability - I thought I'd share.

So many you have supported me as I've tried to find a way to talk about my work (not always easy when you study emotions like shame and vulnerability). I'm so grateful.

If you have time, check out the entire evening here. I was humbled to share the stage with some incredibly gifted thought leaders and to be a small part of an event hosted by a truly innovative team.

I'll be back on Monday. I've enjoyed my time away but I'm itching to rejoin this amazing community!

Comments

[Steffi]

I love this so much! I am so grateful for all the work you do and share! I wish you were a lecturer at my home university :)

It took me years to recover my vulnerability, my openness, my softness and I'm still on the journey but I've come to the point where I just love it so much (most of the time, sometimes it hurts so strongly that I really think it sucks but I'll take the pain any time because I know now that it also gives me the capacity to feel joy, love and happiness - truly, deeply, in my heart - and these are the best feelings I know).

Thank you!

[Darlene]

Thank you for this talk. In my life things cross my path at just the right time; and this is one of those things.

[Elizabeth]

Wow! How profound. Thank you for sharing this.... you touched me.

[Meg]

Bloody powerful stuff, Brené. Woah. That shit is spot on. I literally have chills and tears. To be honest, there are a few things I see that I need to process.
(Thank you so much for posting it here. I had trouble watching it from the FB link but my net connection is just managing with this one.)

Thank you for sharing yourself so generously. Yes, it is hard to share footage of ourselves. But you're so great a presenter and speaker that I could listen to you ALL day. Which sometimes I do. The read-a-long actually helps me get chores done! And now I'm rambling and gushing.
LOL! :)

♡

[Carrie]

Hi!

This is my first visit to your blog...what an incredible day to stop by. This video is incredible. I cannot wait to read more of your material! I am headed over to order/preorder books now. Thank you for reminding me that vunerability is not sononomous with weakness, and that often, it is only when wen allow ourselves to be vulnerable that we can let true ordinary joy in, and see it for the simple and pure pleasure that it brings. Instant fan of your work! Do you ever come to the NW area?

~Carrie

[Laura Hollenbeck]

Excellent! And right on target.
Thank you.

[Carmen Rose]

Wow... you really made me think. I think I'll listen to this a number of times and let it sink in. I DO live in scarcity, I DO protect myself from vulnerability, I DO the stuff you are talking about. I want to learn more. Thank you!

[Kathryn Benfiet]

Brene...what a profound speech. Thank you. I'm reading your first book and really, I thought it was just me, but there's a whole world of us out there. The scarcity principle really does hover over our lives...that we don't have enough, that we are not enough, that we need to be more, do more. In all the being and doing, I have lost who I am and am on the road of discovery. Living in the moment and allowing myself to really experience true joy as well as true sadness or sorrow is my goal. I have on my bulletin board in front of my computer a reminder: "Expectations reduce joy". I want to be that woman who relishes every moment of my life. Thank you for your research and your message.

[Liz Ness]

I hadn't thought of busy as a form of numbing (seems obvious, now). I've been struggling lately with what I feel is distraction. I've been trying to remove the things that are distracting me and I've come around to the realization that I've made myself too busy. Now, I'm wondering why. I think I may be dislocating myself from a thing that may hurt a bit (it's an ordinary, everyday thing) -- but, I've just had this enormous aha.

I'm so grateful to you, to your blog, and to your own vulnerabilities that have made you so aware. I'm grateful, too, that you are so willing to give of yourself and share. Thank you again!

[Kathy]

Glad you are back, Brene'! I had already watched your presentation and was slowly sucked in and then blown away! I say 'slowly' because having heard you speak in person (Seattle) and doing the read-along I was thinking that you were going to be saying some things that I had already heard. OH, NO! Once again you spoke to ME and shed light on some issues that had never even occurred to me. I started taking notes, now I'm going to go back and listen again. Thanks!

[Megan]

Thank you for posting this. There is so much in here that impacted me, I will have to listen again and take notes. I love, and am humbled by, the admonition to honour the ordinary. And that to numb our fears numbs our joy also. Yes.

[kelly g.]

Brene--this was wonderful. You did such a great job and the information you provided was amazing! I, too, thought it would be more of what I had read in ITIWJM and from the read-a-long but this was so helpful and things I had not thought of before. Thank you so much! Looking forward to you coming back!

[terri st. cloud]

totally loved this! totally loved you! thank you for what it is you offer.........

[Suebob]

I have been thinking about this since yesterday, and it seems I will be thinking about it some more.

[Heather]

Thank you. I needed this right NOW.
A question: You say vulnerability is at the core of fear, what else is there with it?
Another: What would vulnerability be termed as? It's not an emotion but it causes emotion... does this have a name?

[Liz C.]

Loved this! Thank you so much for feeling vulnerable and still sharing it with us:)

[Eden]

Brene, this should be SHOUTED FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!

[DawnS]

I saw this posted over at Molly Irwin's blog and thought it was fabulous! I love my very ordinary life and I find joy in the simple, everyday things (my blog is called Everyday-Glimpses). I turned 50 in May, but instead of worrying about getting older I blogged about the 50 things in my life that I'm grateful for....everything from my vision & hearing to zip-loc bags and my laundry room :)

[Anita]

Totally missed your blog post. I love reading about your work and your family. I'm so looking forward to you new book. BTW I gave my book and video to my OBGYN-nurse practitioner...I told her about it at my last visit and she sounded so interested in it I took my copies to her when I was done! I'll be buying more books for my mama, sister-in-law and good friend too.

[Julie]

We cannot "selectively numb emotions". Now you've said it, I totally see the truth in that. Thank you

[Peggy K - Small Steps to Giant Leaps]

Outstanding!! You took 17 minutes to lay it all out and you couldn't have said it better!! Thanks SO much for sharing this. You've got me thinking about my next blog post!! And I will link back to this post!

[Monica]

I loved Steffi's comment. I ditto that.

[kathleen]

Thank you so much for sharing this!! I love your wisdom and humour and generosity xox

[Missy]

Wow! Thank you for sharing this! It is what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it.
I'll be one who comes back with a notebook and ponders this with the intent of applying it in my life.

[deborah]

I just want to add my wow to all of the above.

Thank you for reminding me to celebrate the ordinary in my life. Sometimes the ordinary speaks to me and somedays it yells underachiever at me. But I'm learning that real joy springs from simipley living and living simply.

It is immensley comforting and encouraging to hear your words.

[Marie]

This was a stop in your tracks just take a listen talk -- wow. I think I need to hear this a couple times.

[Jenny G.]

Missed your articles in Elle and Self. Do you have reprints?

[NancyH]

great presentation, very powerful ideas distilled to elegant simplicity!

i may not be as clear at expressing.. but i think .. it's important to get at our *humanness*, i think so much trouble and angst comes from missing that, and your ideas go right to the heart of it.

[danasparkle]

hope the fishin' was good. you were missed over the summer.
thank you for your work on vulnerability & shame, very necessary & oh so healing.
thank you
*

[Jennifer]

Thank you, Brene. I wish you could be my therapist... your words go so deep that it is a little scary to me. I am grateful for your voice, for your courage to share.

[Marsha Walters]

Wow! Thank you for sharing your gift of verbalizing a point that is so critical. Since I lost my mom at age 11, I have tried to get through life by armoring myself against needing or wanting too much. My belief that the good can be taken away keeps me on the edges of life and never daring to enjoy it too much. I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there. I need to absorb the point that taking in joy makes me less at risk and not more.

[katie]

i loved it...

i'm so thankful for this today.

[Kristin]

Brene - this was so touching and brought tears to my eyes. I feel like I need to listen a few more times -- I experienced what you said on a deep feeling level and don't have words to attach yet. I also wanted you to know that I embedded your video on my blog. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and love!

[Virginia RH]

To be vulnerable to joy...to be grateful for the ordinary...a daily practice...that challenges the flesh...but elevates the spirit. Thanks, Brene.

[Amy]

Thank you, Brene, for posting this video. A friend recently sent me to your blog - what a gift. One of the reasons this was so meaningful for me was because of intersection with the reading I have been doing in Revelations of Divine Love by Julian of Norwich. Amazing correlations between what you are saying in 2010 and what Julian was writing in the late 14th century. I was really trying so hard to understand the essence of what Julian is attempting to communicate, and your insights help me to use the lens of vulnerability. Many thanks.

[X]

Thank you for sharing. WOW! I can't even begin to describe how good it feels to know this. On to living!

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