gut check

Guidepost #5 in The Gifts of Imperfection is:

Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith, Letting Go of the Need for Certainty. 

Engaging in this practice is definitely a case of "researcher heal thyself!"

In the book, I write:

Intuition is not a single way of knowing - it's our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we've developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason. 

When I feel suffocated by uncertainty I tend to rush into decisions rather than take my time and feel/think my way through the possibilities. Or, I do the exact opposite. I don't listen to that strong, initial gut response and I start polling people around me for an answer. 

For me, there's a sweet spot of intuition. It's when I don't feel the need to answer right away, nor do I shut down the voice inside me that's saying, "I've got this one. I know what to do." 

Nothing captures the power of that sweet spot like this quote from Paulo Coelho:

I'd love to know how you stay connected to you intuition . . . that universal current of life. 

Comments

[deb]

You allow yourself to feel. For me its like sticking my big toe in a pool to test the water. I try to meditate often and that helps. Its like immersing yourself in the stream of life. You allow it to fill you up and then pass your goodness into the world.

[Caroline]

Dear Brene,
This is a subject on which i'm personally practicing much awareness right now... i have a very strong intuition, but often find it difficult, scary and insecure to trust this, so I have the tendency to rationalize and make certain that i am right... however through a series of events I have developed a bigger trust in my intuition lately... and every time i have acted on my intuition since made me feel like i had done the right thing...
So what is this feeling of intuition? to me it is an urge, a very strong gut feeling, mostly a feeling or need to reach out to someone... if i'm really in doubt i sometimes wait a little and if the feeling remains as strong i choose to act on it..
Thank you so much for your inspiring blog and the wisdom in your in your books... i enrolled in the e-course and look forward to that!
Love Caroline

[Tracey]

I stay connected to my intution but trusting myself and my GOD! Recognizing that pretty much all I need will come naturally through my love and support in him. In a more worldly respective I just take the time to listen and focus on my decisions, not based on the externals but my internal feelings. It is something that I have found was drained from me as a child by parents who made decisions I could have made for myself. This is what parents do in order to protect and parent...but a small part of what we think is helping our kids kills the natural intuition that is always within us. It ends up getting bogged down and then when we need it we must search for it. I love my parents and each and everything they had done for me...I am with my children trying to balance the difficult task of teaching, protecting and growing that wonderful gift of intuition so that they might know that voice when they hear it and that spirit when it moves them.

Thanks for wonder blogs & more importantly the concepts that you address that an open up a world of happiness and joy that gets exposed when we clear away the shame!!!

[Patty Sherry]

Hi Brene,

My feeling of intuition is an ease/excitement that feels like YES go this way or YES choose the opposite. Sometimes intuition is a loud roar..and sometimes a tiny whisper. It's the tiny whispers that I am trying to hear more..and not only hear but really listen to

I am strongly interested in following my intuituion, and so I have been doing a few things to help me to do this more:

1) I'm making a mental list of all of those little things or times that I did follow my intuition and I celebrate it out loud. Even if it is something as simple as taking a different road to avoid traffic, to me that is still a cause for celebration that my intuition IS working. The idea behind this is to start small and keep conditioning myself to get comfortable with TRUSTING

2) I am getting more in touch with my body. I've realized that my body does speak to me, so I am trying to become more aware of my physical sensations. I've noticed that when I have an idea that feels like a YES, that my body feels a certain way...it's only when the FEAR factor kicks in, ( and I hear the voices) that suddenly that idea goes away.

3) I am accepting that Intuition and Vulnerability go hand in hand...the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more willing I am to trust in intuition...its a daily practice.


Love and fireworks
Patty Sherry

[jami]

I am relearning to trust my instinct - developing a new view of how and when to use the intellect when making decisions, whether about passion related work or personal relationships. I find that remembering Malcolm Gladwell's words about what instinct is... "the gift of experience," which is not all too different to intuition, although he thinks it is. And perhaps it is, but this line of thinking allows me to open up to trusting the unknown inside me, doing a bit of quick analysis, and then making a decision, or just making the decision based upon intuition as in some instances misjudgements occur and data can many times be skewed. So what is left? The possibility of "failing." Which is most times is just a concept, a mental construct as all the rest... perhaps it is just a stepping stone to the next ultra cool awesome thing, or person. :)

[Robin]

I try to get still, breathe deeply and trust. I can count on my intuition 100%.

[Jane@7Of]

Hi Brene,

I love your posts and your books. I stay connected by getting quiet. This can happen even with chaos surrounding me. I stop and take a breath. It feels like my thoughts sink into my heart and my breath flows down to my feet, rooting me to the earth. I can stand with ease and strength. I think of this as connecting to the Divine inside myself and the divinity that surrounds all of us. I look forward to these moments and try to cultivate and appreciate them. Everything is clearer and more beautiful after I access this part of myself.

Thank you,

Jane

[melissa]

i connect with my intuition by grounding and centering in my body and listening to its wisdom, breathing deeply and slowing way down. thank you, brené.

[Suzyn]

Thanks for this reminder - I've been facing a difficult situation feeling that I need to FIGURE IT ALL OUT and polling everyone for an answer. I'll try to sit quietly and feel my way through it.

[Elta]

Dear Brené,
this topic is so very close to my heart! I not only do I agree with all you said but could sense those feelings you described - and realised that I'm still in the danger zone of borderline compassion fatigue. There, I named it- Phew!!!

Letting go & Letting God is a choice and daily practice - and the most empowering for me is to know that I know my sweet spot - I can find it whenever I need to and practice awareness

PS
I was born a "super sensitive" and trust always came naturally, until a series of gross betrayals left me with scars (i.e. I deliberately buried my gifts and became a professional rescuer of others). It only showed up when I lost my Dad 28 years ago. I was dealing with menopause and overcame… BUT the road to embracing my gifts was long and lonely 2 steps forward on step back and nobody to help me come to terms with the real person living inside my intelligent heart and courageous heart - - - until I heard Brené Brown on Ted Talk and devoured all I could get... (Thank heavens for YouTube and for YOU, Brené)

[Lisa Stevens]

My 20 year old son was imparting a little parenting advice upon me regarding his 17 year old brother. He said.."Mom...trust your intution. It is right 99% of the time." Wowza...coming from a kid who was always trying to pull a fast one over on me during his teen years...I consider that a high compliment. I WAS RIGHT! I KNEW I WAS RIGHT! :)))

[jude]

I believe I am always connected to intuition....and the thing is to not overinterpret the meaning of the strong mostly body sensations. And sometimes a strong uncomfortable sensation indicates I *need* to dive into what I would be more "comfortable" avoiding. It is about the *rightness* of something for me at this time....not a judgement of that person or thing forevermore.

Intuition is different from mental or intellectual knowing....is both stronger and more vague. Intuition is not about pinning down. Nor is it about impulsivity.

It is an awesome, vulnerable, powerful part of really being connected and aware and alive......

[Jade]

For me, like many of the above commenters, getting in touch with my intuition is an act of trust. I reach out with that elusive sixth sense deep inside and just *feel* what different options feel like. If a decision is too difficult to reach, I just sit and test it with my feelers for a day. When a decision is really, really tough, I feel out for which way I think I'll regret. As long as there are no regrets, then I go with the one that calls my heart and ignore my mind (the critic full of the coulds, woulds, & shoulds).

[wisetrout]

Reiki helps. So does listening and asking questions and walking on the beach, but the number one best practice for me for self-reflection and guidance is writing. Daily (often times several times a day) writing empties my head onto a page where my heart can read those thoughts later--and somehow, truth emerges. My truth. Thanks for the inspiration here.

[Steffi]

I write. Today I met with a friend and we did one of the exercises from Julia Cameron's "The Right to Write", asking questions and answering them ourselves, and I realized (again) that I know what I need to know right now. And that I want/need to learn to trust, to have faith: faith that it is enough what I know right now and that the other answers will come when they are due, faith that life is good and beautiful and God is there for me wherever I am, whatever I do, whoever I am, faith that my heart and this spot between my eyes know better than my brain most of the time.

Thank you, Brené, as always, for your inspiration and sharing!

[Alex]

I try to visualize the problem I'm having as a bunch of colorful strings. If I calm down and look at the individual strings, I can start reweaving them back into the fabric. Sometimes a string just has to hang there awhile. Sometimes they are tangled and the only thing I can do is pick at them patiently until I untangle them. It also helps to know that no matter how many times I think I have the fabric right, the strings are going to unravel again and get tangled up again and my job is to be patient and work on it.

Right now I'm frustrated about our housing situation. It's been almost a year and there have been lots of raised hopes and no real solutions. There are a lot of strings and they are really tangled.

[blaine]

This was such a poignant topic for me at this specific time in my life. Of course, not always successful, but it has definitely been a time of connecting two seeming polarities, not reacting immediately, but giving my spirit, my self, time to digest experiences before reacting, and listening and trusting that inner voice that knows what to do (which is also involved in the waiting for clarity scenario. I worked with a Japoanese artist for the last few years of my dancing and part of the training was about "keeping"; keeping you energy until the very last moment it is needed before moving. More lightly, I also think of Radar on M.A.S.H. sometimes. He would hear the incoming helicopters before anyone else, then sush them saying, "Wait. Wait for it." Sush, keep, and wait for it.
To answer the question, when i need to figure out what to do about something, what course of action to take, and even in remaining aware of my inner voice, I am more and more seeking and/or listening less to other people's opinions. Reading and keep abreast of insightful writings like yours, I have knowledge to draw on when the time comes.

[MJ]

I don't really know - I'm at a time in life where I finally feel strong and peaceful (meditation, your book on "being enough" and doing things that I love finally cured me) but also at a place where I can't act on my intuition easily. I know that I'm in the wrong line of work for me, and it is making me unhappy, and not pointing me towards anything I want, but I don't know what to do or where to go next (and the job market sure isn't helping). But I finally have some faith that I'll get there, things will change, I'll keep going in the right directions if I stay true to me. As I said, meditation, making music and writing stories (what I love), learning from your work, being outdoors have all helped me to clear out the junk and the messages about what I "should" be and finally live a little....

[Prashant]

One way to stay connected to intuition by observation of impatience,anger,fear,judgement within myself that crowds the inner vision. Once impatience is observed and acknowledge, it gives way to see through confusion or stays connected with what that needs to be done. Driving in the morning to drop my daughter off at school, caught a glimpse of rising sun from east peaking thru the trees that are about to shed leaves. The branches are the like the fog that occupies the mind

Observation is powerful and allows me to be in touch with my intuition. Simple and pure observation of the mental structures that get erected with each physical situation. Pure observation = being aware or observing all things physical and mental (Including the judgement that raises with each).

[Jan Myhre]

They say the eyes are the window to the soul. That may be true, but I've discovered that the heart is the doorway to the soul. As a woman who has a difficult time moving from the head to the heart (where feelings reside), I've become painfully aware of my lack of appreciation of my own 70 years of wisdom. Acknowledging my wisdom and tapping into it requires "soul work"...soul work requires a listening heart...a listening heart constantly asks my brain to step aside and be open to the gifts of intuition, compassion, etc., all the things that can lead me to wholeness.

[Michael]

Excuse me for posting a link to my blog, but I thought you might be interested in reading my thoughts on intuition. http://tropicaltheartist.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/the-power-of-intuition/

[Debbie]

The way I stay connected to my intuition is I try to not react or act on my feelings of the moment. In the past, I have made some bad choices by reacting in the moment based on my feelngs rather than waiting until that moment of "knowing" comes.

This also helps me to not be ruled by my emotions, but to have control over them.

There are indeed those times when you just know in an instant; otherwise, I try to apply the above practice. I have avoided some embarrassing and/or poor choices by just waiting.

[Juli]

I used to struggle differentiating between fear and intuition, especially when it was regarding something I did not want to know or process. I have learned that when I have to start "poling others' and questioning myself, I recognize it as fear or more accurately, that I am fearing what my in intuition is telling me. My best description of intuition- you just know. That's it, I some how find the courage to get out of my own way and I just know.

[Jenn Delage]

I don't stay connected to my intuition. It stays connected to ME. It never leaves me alone. I can try to shut it out, and it's there. I can try to ignore it, but it screams in my gut. No, there is no staying connected to my intuition. It stays connected to ME.

[RodL]

The Holy Spirit invites me into partnership with God through Jesus Christ the Son. I am then brought to my knees, in the silence I am lifted up then shown bits and pieces of the issues, in and around my life that only God can see. From this perspective I take a leap of faith, not certain but fully assured that what I will encounter will not be something I encounter alone.

[Nancy]

Brene....as a myers-briggs type INFJ, and a person who struggles to balance vulnerability with organization expectations there are times when my intuition fails to get a fair hearing. I see things that other more fact-based folks don't see and to be honest there are times I think it's as much a curse as it is a gift. However, having grey hair is giving me permission to finally be more aunthentically myself, and finding ways that I can be whole hearted even within organizational constraints that don't often value intuition. It's a struggle, but a very worthwhile one!

[debra]

When my kids were little, I used to tell them to pay attention to their feelings---the uh-oh feeling and the ones that said, "yes! this is good." and that THAT was their intuition. And that intuition doesn't lie. Good things to remember. One of my daughters used to say that she "just knew" when something was right or wrong. True, I think. As artists it's the "knowing" that makes art work, it's that which comes from the heart through the hands. All good.

[Heather Van Uxem Lewis]

Intuition is a guiding force in my life and sometimes to a fault. However, one way I use intuition is in my studio practice as an artist. It is easy to get caught up on the material or stuck on a topic, but, I know when I am on to something when I giggle. I giggle out loud, often leading to full on laughter if I feel it is really transgressive. However, that giggle is a signpost on an often dark highway of searching for what it is I am trying to express. It bubbles up out of me as unexpectedly as the thought provoking the impetuous laughter. Those works are always my favorite.

[Vickie]

I have come to the other side of a dark night of the soul experience. In the past, I lived my life from a perspective of fear and always doing the right thing and needing to please others and never making mistakes. All different forms of fear. That was totally an experience of living constricted....tight in the bud. This journey of healing has led me to be more open and have more Faith. I now know I am in good hands and I can relax into the present. This openness provides space for intuition. Often intuition feels like a download of the right answer. I am even open to the experience of being "led". In other words, I know what I have to do, despite the chatter of "you really shouldn't or can't" that is ever present in my mind. This feels like I have a silver string attached to the middle of my chest and I just have to follow and trust. Even if the experience doesn't feel positive, I now trust that it is where I needed to tread in order to be on the right path. But, it requires two ingredients: Openness and Faith.

[Andrea Owen]

The serenity prayer helps :) I try to get quiet and breathe, but I've never been good at meditation and with 2 kids under 4 years old this is hard. So, I have to LET IT GO. For this recovering perfectionist, control freak, this is a daily practice but I have to trust that my mind does not have all the answers, my heart and soul does. And over-thinking it does NOT help.
Also, my intuition is always very clear and the answer are usually the easiest and most natural.

[Cheryl]

When I live only from my head (rational mind), I can get awash in fear and anxiety and worry. It's a state that is far too familiar lately, and yet that familiarity and discomfort is also a signal that I need to make the choice to shift into gratitude, appreciation, and peace. I have stepped into a really vulnerable place recently, leaving career and home behind to build a new life with my family in a new place and allowing myself the opportunity to be the artist I believe I was born to be. It is scary. The pressure I put on myself to "not screw this up" is smothering. So, the only way I know how to alleviate my fear and to be in the appropriate space to create authentically is to show up in my studio, move through a ritual of grounding, connecting, and a quiet meditation or prayer and a letting go of plans and controls and expectations. After a bit of stillness, I consciously shift to a feeling of gratitude for the opportunity to be where I am, doing the things I love, I know I am then connected to my intuition. It feels calm, and there is a sense of gentle knowing....a wisdom. And there is a letting go or releasing of outcomes and expectations that is freeing. This is the only place I know that I can create from. Where I know I am tapping into a collective unconscious, or a Divine Self....my intuition. For me the practice is just like showing up at the gym. If you can just get yourself there, you know by the end of it you will have managed a workout and feel so much better for having gone through the process. The trick for me then is just letting myself go there in the first place.

[Fin]

You may sometimes let your intuition down, but your intuition won’t let you down. Trust it and it will perform the miracle you seek.

[Chris P-M]

I had a spiritual director once who made the comment "The spirit is always just a litte behind. It is wise to pause and trust your rumblings." Not a day goes by that I don't use that insight!

[Liz E]

I am only able to tap into my intuition when I spend a few minutes each morning journaling, meditating, writing out prayers, or just being quiet with myself. When I do this, I find life much easier to navigate and it seems as if the puzzle pieces of the world fall into place for me.The question is why I don't take the time for myself each day. It is a never-ending struggle to "find" time for this piece in my life.

[REBEKAH M-M]

ONCE I CHOSE NOT TO LISTEN TO MY INTUITION, I CHOSE TO LISTEN TO OTHERS, INCLUDING MY OWN MOM- THEY LED ME ASTRAY. I ALLOWED THEM TO DO SO. NOW - I LISTEN TO MY OWN THOUGHTS, INSTINCTS AND MY INNER EXPERIENCES -MY PROPELLINGS AND HALTINGS- THE SILENT PAUSES- AND THE CERTAIN KNOWLEDGE JUST TO BE. LOVE MY HAPPINESS AS A RESULT.

[Karan]

I really love the idea of a "space of uncertainty" and have come to think it as a very high space to be in. When one lets the self stay in that space of uncertainty, it creates endless possibilities as is somewhat alluded to in the post.

I love being in that space and making a "free and open" choice, bounded by nothing.

I often give myself some early morning time or late night time when I completely connect with that "universal current of life."

[Cindy]

I struggle with following intuition so much. I think for years I thought what I was following my intuition and it just lead to so many failures. Really, I wasn't following my intuition, but just falling into what I thought everyone else expected me to do. When I got called for an interview for this new job, my intuition told me that this was good and right, but I questioned it. I almost turned it down. Except the interview and job was right. I've been following my intuition from now on and we are just about to close on our first house. I'm not sure if it has as much to do with having faith in your intuition as it is in just being able to decipher your own intuition. It's taken me some time to figure that out.

[Cindy]

I had an "aha" moment about this subject while on a run a few weeks ago. I talk to God sometimes when I run. I felt especially connected one morning. I threw out something and got a response immediately. I marveled at that and pretty much said, "How do you do that?" An image of a tuning fork popped in my head. You know, those tuning forks they used to use to tune musical instruments? Well, that was the perfect explanation as far as I was concerned. I practice staying aware and connected daily. The more I cultivate my connection to God, the universe, my gut...the more I "hear". I'm fine tuning my awareness.

[Cindy]

Oh, Vicki. I just read Vicki's response. I love it. I agree with everything she said. Spot on. I too came through a black time and experienced exactly what you describe.

[Annie]

Two things have to be in check for me before I can really tune into my intuition: presence and patience. These two words are my mantra, my daily prayer, and without them both I fall victim to the voices of fear, uncertainty, ego, insecurity. I used to think my gut reaction was my first reaction but now I know it is the reaction that comes from a place of presence and patience. Thanks Brene, as always, I come to your site and it fills my cup.
xo
Annie

[Michelle]

Thank you for this gentle reminder and encouragement. Intuition is something that, when I've actually managed to tune into, has served me amazingly well. But it seems like there's just so much "noise" in the airwaves right now, I've almost given up on the patience and perseverance required to stay tuned in.

I'm glad to hear I'm not he only one having this challenge.

Michelle Robindell
Ripple Effect Coaching

Latest blog post: Win signed copies of two of Brene Brown's books!!
http://www.ripple-effect-coaching.com/1/post/2011/09/ripple-effect-blog-giveaway-win-two-of-bren-browns-books.htm

[mrigaa]

to be honest, intuition is something of a bad word for me. i trust mine very little. i've come to believe that those gut reactions come from deep within my neuroses and fears and are not to be trusted, but rather to be rationalized and disarmed.

of course, i'm not exactly thrilled about this. i feel like i'm missing out on something powerful and primal that people around me extol.

not sure what to do about that :-/

[Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac]

When I need clarity or need to tune into my intuition, I go for a run and the solution comes out with my sweat.