vulnerability is ___________.

Sometimes the toughest part of embracing vulnerability is recognizing vulnerability. There are so many secondary emotions that spring to the surface and grab our focus. I wrote this in my journal this morning as a little reminder to look deeper, be mindful, and practice self-compassion. I don't want to shut myself off from vulnerability because I don't want to miss out on what it brings to my life: love, creativity, joy, authenticity, courage, and hope (just to name a few).

It's always so helpful to be reminded of the many ways that vulnerability shows up in our lives. Leave a comment telling us how you fill in the blanks (on one or both) and three folks will get a copy of The Gifts of Imperfection. I'll announce the names on Friday. 

Vulnerability is __________________.

Vulnerability feels like ___________________.

Have a great week!

Update on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 by Brené Brown

Congrats to Billy, Jim Bright, and Jen Krenzer! You won copies of the book!

All giveaway winners are randomly selected! Thank you so much for leaving your comments! You are a brave and amazing group of people!

Comments

[Sally H]

vulnerability is asking for help
vulnerability feels like failure

[Eric Altman]

telling the truth.
not sucking it in anymore.
asking for what I want.
giving you what I think you want.
bad breath.

[Liz]

Vulnerability is planning your next step while including your lover's interests
Vulnerability feels like giving up your control

[tina mistry]

Vulnerability is: being afraid to tell him how I feel

Vulnerability feels like: insecurity and doubt

[faith]

Vulnerability is saying no.

Vulnerability feels like anxiety.

[Jody Schoger]

Vulnerability is: my best self.
Vulnerability (can) feel like an accident waiting to happen.

[Kya]

Vulnerability is natural condition of growth.

Vulnerability feels like an open, exposed, raw wound that I can no longer hide.

[Sandi T]

Vulnerability is opening my heart up for hurt.

Vulnerability feels like fear.

[Kathi G]

Vulnerability is letting you see who I really am.
Vulnerability feels risky and dangerous.

[rob]

vulnerability is looking at myself in a BIG mirror ..



vulnerability feels like embarrassment ..

[Byrdie]

Vulnerability is trusting and sharing to such a degree that I take the risk that the people around me may not be the people I'd hoped they'd be.

[Klara]

Vulnerability is feminine.

Vulnerability feels like being very fragile and in danger.

[Amanda]

Vulnerability is being open and exposed.
Vulnerability feels like you are half-way across a tight-rope and moving forward or going back are both just as scary.

[Anna C]

vulnerability is sending in another cover letter and resume after not being called after 12
vulnerability feels like weakness

[Crystal]

Vulnerability is looking at your life and all of the opportunities around you and saying, "I'm not happy with where I am, but I know I can be."

Vulnerability feels like standing in the middle of a lush green forest, at a fork in the path, with no way to turn around. Vulnerability feels like judgement and fear and terror and excitement and joy all wrapped together.

[Jackie T]

Vulnerability is asking for what I want without demanding that I get it.
Vulnerability feels very scary and new.

[Anne]

Vulnerability is kinda creepy...complete with the bizarre, inexplicable expectations that doors are going to open (tortuously slow, or all of a sudden) and something nightmarish and consuming will come through and "get" me.

Vulnerability feels like risk, over-indulging, bravery, terror, necessity, irony, paradox, opportunity, strength, weakness.

[Lyndsey]

Vulnerability is accepting that you may get hurt but knowing that you are strong enough to bounce back

[Rachel C]

Vulnerability is _____________________
-admitting I was wrong
-making mistakes at work
-connecting heart-to-heart with a stranger/acquaintance
-not having the right answer
-going to a group situation where I don't know a soul

Vulnerability feels like _________________
-being judged
-being "less than"
-not good enough
-out of control
-losing my voice
-punishment
-wanting to disappear

[Rita]

Vulnerability is raw
Vulnerability feels like a fish in a pond full of fishermen

[Debbie L]

Vulnerability is standing emotionally naked in front of another person.

Vulnerability feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to be pushed, or to jump.

[maile]

Vulnerability is being in a bathing suit. Vulnerability feels like the probability of gossip, judgment and rejection.

[laurel]

Vulnerability is liberation.

Vulnerability feels like connection.
(I can't feel vulnerable without someone to feel vulnerable with and that is a level of connection I can't experience any other way.)

I think you're brilliant (and I'm not just saying that to get a free copy...well...grin).
Your TEDTalk was a true turning point for me. I blogged about it here: http://justaroundthiscorner.blogspot.com/2011/05/vulnerability-day-34.html

THANK YOU!

[Marthe]

Vulnerability is:
- letting go
- not trying to control the uncontrollable
- accepting change even though it hurts
- opening up to people

Vulnerability feels like:
- rejection.
- anxiety.
- shame.
- being exposed.
- welcoming hurt, pain and other fatal blows to the heart.

[Jenay]

Vulnerability is saying what really is wrong.

Vulnerability feels like learned anxiety and fear.

[Bridget]

Vulnerability is going home after it all.

Vulnerability feels like pulled muscle -- except in your soul. A worthy stretch, but needs a day or so to recover.

[LiWi]

Vulnerability is what makes me see more and different bits of myself.

Vulnerability feels like a precious gift one hasn't yet decided whether to like it or not.

[Carly Goldberg]

Vulnerability is... living your truth!
Vulnerability feels like... doors of possibility opening!

[Lindsey]

Vulnerability feels like... your happy place transformed into a public park with some people planting flowers and some people spraying graffiti on the gorgeous stone walls.

Vulnerability looks like.... your heart and soul on display in front of a room full of people, or someone you care about, or just the universe in general.

It tastes like cotton mouth...

It sounds like fingernails on a chalk board...

It smells like smoke when your kitchen is on fire...

(What I can never figure out is if vulnerability creates fear, or fear creates vulnerability)

[Dale]

Vulnerability is: seeing my reflection in the car widow
Vulnerablity feels like: self loathing

[Verena Rehli]

Vulnerability is facing death. ~ To Surrender ~ Render to the most high (sur-meaning high).
Vulnerability feels like being cradeled in the arms of the angels.

[BrigitteP]

For me vulnerability is being honest about my feelings with someone who means a lot to me, whether they be good feelings or bad feelings. And, in this case, vulnerability feels like sweaty palms and a racing heart.

Thanks for this Brené. You're right, we all need to pay more attention to how vulnerability shows up for us.

[Graciela Villarreal]

I recognize my own fragility and express it to the ones i love ..

[Patty Sherry]

Tearing down my walls, letting go of my defenses, and taking off all of my masks to show the world who I really am.

It feels like dancing naked at the masquerade.....

[sheri]

Vulnerability is being yourself no matter who is or is not looking.
Vulnerability feels naked

[Doreen]

How interesting! During Saturday's JIn Shin Do Bodymind Acupressure class, students and I were discussing just this topic. We agreed: Vulnerability is openness, without defense(s). Vulnerability feels scary, yet exciting because we know it leads to growth, while not knowing to what we may be exposed nor how we will fare without those familiar defenses, be they physcial, emotional, mental or energetic. Because of these emotions, vulnerability feels charged. Fear and excitement share physical and energetic qualities, including breath holding, adrenalin rush and rapid heart beats.

[Carol Valianti]

Vulnerability is entering a room full of women and immediately thinking that I don't measure up, don't fit in, that I'm being judged, that they all know each other and I'm the odd man out - at 43 years old. Reverting back to the feeling that began iliterally in my own pre-school class, continued through high school when I'd eat lunch in the bathroom as opposed to walking into a lunchroom not knowing where to sit, or in my adult life when I go to a conference full of strangers.

Vulnerability feels like I live life as a fraud, and someone is going to find out at any moment that I'm not what they think I am or what I want them to think I am.

[elizabeth]

for me, vulnerability is daring to say what i THINK (saying what i FEEL is easy by comparison)
vulnerability feels like irritable bowel syndrome

[Caroline Johnson]

Vulnerability is: Saying YES.

Vulnerability feel's like: Being stuck in an option you know you can't reconcile with.

[Adam]

Vulnerability is owning your own story. All of it.

[Leigh A Hudson]

Vulnerability is risky but without taking some risks, we don't grow...

[Danah]

According to the dictionary vulnerability is 'being open to attack or damage' so vulnerability must feel like being attacked or damaged.

Why is it that society teaches us that you will be attacked if you let your guard down; and why is it that so many of us treat eachother this way?

Vulnerability feels like pain and isolation.

[Billy]

Vulnerability is
Learning to FULL(y) own and love who I am
Asking for help
Starting something new for fear of failure
Public transportation

Vulnerability feels like
Opportunity
Being Cryogenically frozen (as I imagine it).
Weakness
Dirty laundry

[missy]

vulnerability is asking for what I need. Vulnerability feels naked and exposed.

[melinda donahoe]

Vulnerability is the option of stepping outside ourselves, and experiencing life, or continuing to stew in our own demise. Vulnerability feels like sky diving for the heart and brain.

[Kathy]

Vulnerability is firing my relatively new gas kiln and inviting others to join me - letting others see me in a complete panic, while I try to "act cool" and try not to yell.

Vulnerabiltiy feels like panic, hiding, a paradox- I am so small AND so large...

[jessica]

Vulnerability is leaving your heart wide open to possibilities.
Vulnerability feels like jumping off a cliff and not knowing if your parachute will work.

[Mary Stan]

Vulnerability is terrifying and liberating; a doorway through which the sun is shining but one through which you're afraid to walk because of the flaws you carry. But you are willing to start walking anyway.

Vulnerability feels like a too small wet suit, support hose or straight jacket keeping the icky parts of me in, but those parts are dying to get out and breathe. I imagine one day vulnerability will feel like breathing freely with expansive lungs in a sky of spaciousness.

[Denise]

Vulnerability is when your home is broken into
and you feel invaded

[Lindsay N. Lynch]

It is when you give your true self up for being judged or allowing people to see what hides in your closet only because you may think they'll disapprove of who you truely are. The thing is...we all have secrets we hide which leads you valnerble...so why do we let it bother us so much...I beleive it's because... We are truely our own worst critics and we have already judged ourself for disapproval!