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Interviews & Videos TED 2012: Full Spectrum TEDxHouston CBC Radio CNN Your Courageous Life Dumbo Feather Great Work Interviews Houston Chronicle MariaShriver.com NPR Oprah.com PBS PBS Parents Psychology Today Smart People Podcast TEDxKC The Washington Post

Publications
  • Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir)
    Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir)
    by Jenny Lawson
  • Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power
    Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power
    by Rachel Maddow
  • Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
    Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
    by Susan Cain

    Loved Susan's TED talk! 

  • The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My Frontier
    The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My Frontier
    by Ree Drummond

    The recipes. The photos. The humor. I'm so in! 

  • Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up
    Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up
    by Harriet Lerner
  • The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
    The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
    by Harriet Lerner

    I reread this every couple of years! So powerful. 

  • The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
    The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
    by Harriet Lerner

    C'mon. The subtitle says it all. 

Publications
  • City of Refuge
    City of Refuge
    by Abigail Washburn

    Pure magic!

  • I'm Your Man
    I'm Your Man
    by Leonard Cohen

    Take this Waltz is on my top ten list of all songs!

  • I and Love and You
    I and Love and You
    by The Avett Brothers
Publications
  • Masterpiece Classic: Downton Abbey (Original UK Unedited Edition)
    Masterpiece Classic: Downton Abbey (Original UK Unedited Edition)
    PBS

    So totally addicted to this series! Absolutely amazing!

  • Zen: Vendetta / Cabal / Ratking [Blu-ray]
    Zen: Vendetta / Cabal / Ratking [Blu-ray]
    starring Rufus Sewell

    Based on your recommendations from a recent blog post! It's another wonderful BBC mystery series! 

  • The Good Wife: The First Season
    The Good Wife: The First Season
    starring Julianna Margulies, Chris Noth, Josh Charles, Matt Czuchry, Archie Panjabi

    One of the best shows on TV. Juiliana Marguiles is incredible. 

gifting
Sunday
Aug142011

inspiration interview with gretchen rubin (and a happiness giveaway)

I started the Inspiration Interview Series because I wanted to know more about the people who share their work with the world and inspire me to practice courage, be creative, and dream big. Gretchen is one of those people. Meet Gretchen! 

Gretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness.

The Happiness Project is more than a book and a blog, it’s a movement. Happiness Project groups have sprung up around the world; hundreds of book groups have discussed the book; and rights for more than 32 foreign editions have been sold. The Happiness Project was even an answer on the game-show Jeopardy!

A graduate of Yale and Yale Law School, where she was Editor-in-Chief of the Yale Law Journal, Rubin started her career in law, and she was clerking for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she really wanted to be a writer.

I had the pleasure of meeting Gretchen at the 2011 BlogHer Conference. Gretchen and I sat on a panel with Shauna James Ahern and Shannon from the Mr. Lady blog. After a wonderful panel experience, Gretchen and I had a conversation about happiness, vulnerability, writing, and work/life integration. It was inspiring!

I hope you enjoy Gretchen's interview as much I did. Her answer about managing perfectionism is so powerful! If you'd like to win a copy of Gretchen's book, The Happiness Project, leave a comment telling us one thing that makes you really happy! I'll draw three winners on Tuesday evening! 

Questions based on The Gifts of Imperfection!

1. What role does vulnerability play in your work?

I write about happiness through the lens of my own experience. I've found that when I reveal my own faults, limitations, and quirks, I connect most deeply with other people -- and also, I'm best able to convey my conclusions about happiness. Hearing about my efforts to be happier is an effective way for people to think about the steps they might take, in their own lives. 

2. What does authenticity mean to you and how do you practice it in your work?

I have twelve Personal Commandments, and my first commandment is to "Be Gretchen." The more my life reflects my nature, interests, and values, the happier I am. To be myself -- it sounds so simple and obvious! And yet, I struggle all the time to "Be Gretchen." I remind myself of things such as, "Just because something is fun for someone else doesn't mean it's fun for me -- and vice versa" and "I can choose what I DO, but I can't choose what I LIKE to do." These help me remember what's true for ME.

3. Is perfectionism an issue for you? If so, what’s one of your strategies for managing it?

I remind myself, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." (Cribbed from Voltaire.) A twenty-minute walk that I do is better than the four-mile run that I don't do. The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer. The dinner party of take-out Chinese food is better than the elegant dinner that I never host.

4. What inspires you? Reading. Reading, reading, reading.

5. What’s something that gets in the way of your creativity and how do you move through it? 

When I feel myself dry up, I let myself read more, and at whim; I take notes without a purpose; I go through my old notes and files of favorite quotations. Also, I work every day, whether I feel creative or not. Discipline isn't the enemy of creativity, in my experience, but the wellspring.

6. Do you have a mantra or manifesto for living and loving with your whole heart?

I have several. "Be Gretchen." "The days are long, but the years are short." "It is not enough to love; we must prove it." "It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light." "Now is now."

Now, for some fun! 

From James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor’s Studio 

1. What is your favorite word? Kumquat

2. What sound or noise do you love? The sound of a night thunderstorm.

3. What sound or noise do you hate? Weirdly, the sound of liquid being poured in a cup. 

From JL’s Uncle Jessie Meme

1. Best show on television? Any show that my sister Liz Craft or brother-in-law Adam Fierro writes for or creates. 

2. If you could have anything put on a t-shirt what would it be? A bluebird (of happiness).

3. A talent you wish you had? Painting.

4. Dream vacation? Reading in bed!

5. What’s on your nightstand? Books and a few empty soda cans.

6. What’s something about you that would surprise us? I have a tattoo. No, really I don't. As I think about this, I realize that I'm surprisingly unsurprising. I hate sushi -- is that surprising?

From Smith Magazine’s Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six Word Memoirs from Writers Famous and Obscure 

Your six-word memoir:  Days are long; years are short.

Connecting with Gretchen:

Twitter    Facebook     Moments of Happiness Daily Quotations   Blog

Can't wait to read your happiness comments! Check back on Tuesday night for giveaway winners! 

« "once you are real, you can't be ugly" | Main | courage is a heart word »

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Reader Comments (161)

She and I have nearly the same six words! My six have been with me since I started http://www.graceinsmallthings.com/: Life is short; love is large.

One thing that makes me really happy right now is milk oolong tea, which is a particular type of oolong that tastes both buttery and sweet. It costs an arm and a leg, but it's worth it.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered Commenterschmutzie
The feeling of waking up, taking a deep breath and saying hello to the morning with great enthusiasm and gratitude... in search of a day full of connection...a connection with ourselves, the universe and each other...all the while knowing that every day is as it should be....

thanks for the sharing and the connection.

xo
Cindy
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterCindy Wunsch
One thing that really makes me happy? Oh, so many choices. Apart from the really obvious one that is my children and family, I'm going to say DANCING. Letting my body move to the music is so freeing and fun!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterBelinda Fireman
Art Journaling makes me happy! My kids make me happy. 8am worship makes me happy. The morning glories growing on my deck make me happy! Life is good!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanet J
Loved seeing you both present together at BlogHer!

One thing that makes me really happy: sitting on a boat, anchored somewhere. Listening to the sound of the water, the wind, the birds....with a glass of wine. That makes me happy. Also, nutella, swimming, and wine. (oh right, and my daughter and hubby!) :)
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterElena
Feeling the sun and the wind on my face....love summer.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacy
Having a deep connection with my sense of self-worth brings real happiness to my life!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel
Practicing being present-focused makes me happy because I stop to appreciate everything as it is occurring. So hard to do consistently, but I just keep trying. For me, this usually means cherishing the very many relationships and blessings I have received.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterJackie
I wish I had been at BlogHer11 so I could have heard your panel. Happily at least I caught your interview here :-)

What makes me happy is dancing. What makes me really happy is dancing with my 3 young kids. What makes me extraordinarily happy is dancing with my kids when I've been struggling to get them to behave – suddenly I remember I can change the mood in the house and I start dancing, they join in and then we all laugh and dance together. That is happiness for me.

Good thing I just wrote that down. Reminding myself of my happy moments will ensure I create more!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterTania Elfersy
The ocean makes me happy and still.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterKerianne Taves
One thing that makes me very happy is being awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of purring from my cat Bailey who has somehow managed to sneak into my bed and curl up on my pillow.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterPamela
Happiness Project makes me happy. If we reversed Gretchen's cowlick she could pass for your sister Brene. Right now Mary Chapin Carpenters song "Why Walk When You Can Fly" is my happy anti shame song of the century.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoni
Happiness is spending time with my son and his wife which doesn't happen very often because they live 12,000 miles away
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterBernice
What a wonderful conversation. You and Gretchen have inspired our team at Allison Partners to blog about your TedTalk - http://www.allisonpartners.com/index.php/resources/entry/13_april_2011/ and the Happiness Project - http://www.allisonpartners.com/index.php/resources/entry/20_may_2011/. Thanks for all that you do to help us think about how to be wholehearted and happy!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterAllison Linney
Just a quick note on happiness: So, a pastor of mine gave a sermon about a year ago on joy versus happiness. He said, "Happiness is circumstantial. Joy is relational." What he means is that our happiness is the result of the circumstances we are in. When the going is rough, the going is rough! But joy is something completely set apart from happiness and crappy circumstances we may be in. We can be joyful because of our relationships with others, with our communities, and with God. We can be joyful without being happy. I am making strides towards joy....

But to answer the happiness question, cooking and/or baking with friends always makes me happy.
Knowing that I am able to take a moment to find bliss in every situation. Even the saddest, hardest or dirtiest moments of life. For they truly make life beautiful.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterChantale Taurozzi
Waking up before my 4 kids, sneaking into the sunroom with my favorite current book (anything by Richard Rohr lately) and a steaming cup of coffee. Sometimes I read and other times I just practice "being". This is pure happiness and a moment of heaven in my normally chaotic days. How sweet life can be...
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterAimee
What makes me happy? So many things...but right now, it's that I live less than 2 miles from an amazing farmers market, where I was able to stock up on fresh, delicious, local produce that's been filling my belly since yesterday :-)
i love smiling and interacting with babies. They are so curious, desirous of communication and without any worry, expectation or embarrassment, I love their smiles!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so hi. Thankfully I have babies around pretty much and they remind me how beautiful my own soul is.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterMilt Simon
Love both your books---would have loved to have heard your panel (will it be posted online?).

I'd still like to win a copy---hoping to convince our book club to choose The Happiness Project.

The ways my sons play together and look out for each other make me immeasurably happy.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre
"What sound or noise do you hate?" The sound of liquid being poured in a cup. Yeah - I am not alone! I used to sit next to the water cooler at work and all day long, that's all I would hear - cups filling with water. Absolutely drove me crazy!

What makes me happy? Walking through a pine forest in the mountains, with only the sounds of nature and the smell of pine.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered Commentertracy
Happiness is a day off of work to spend with my hubby and daughter.
Walking in the crunchy snow and hearing children's laughter in the distance!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle Merko
Juicy summer berries, hot cups of tea, wind in the trees, afternoon light and real hugs ♥
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterPiper Deggan
good conversation. xox
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterCristie
Sea Salt on Milk Chocolate makes me very happy. The fact that it exists.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterPatty Sherry
sleep makes me happy
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky F.
This summer I planned a 5 day vacation by myself in a beach town where I had never been before, resolving not to take any work, do any project or multitask in any way...but to do what I felt like doing as each day unfolded. It took about a day and a half and I started to feel really happy. I returned home to my husband and grown children (who still live with us) with a smile on my face. Now I know that planning free time for 'me' makes me happy. Curiously, the rest of the family has been happier too!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimi HOltz
Listening to the sounds of the sea on a warm, sunny day makes me feel happy.

I used to have long debates over the differences between the meanings of contentment, happiness and joy.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Moyse
Happiness, for me, is cooking and watching the cats sunbathe!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterNancy R.
What makes me happiest is hanging out at the end of the day with my dog. It's totally cheesy but no matter what I've been though, no matter what happens at work, knowing I will come home to my dog's wagging tail makes it all a lot easier. I can be a complete failure at the office but my dog will love me anyway.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristine
Speaking to my friend - in person, a handwitten note or card, text or email - they all bring a smile to my face :)
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia
Brene,
Thank you for supporting those writers who have similar views as you do and write to help other women. (and men)
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisaMac
Making something new each day makes me happy -- a collage, a recipe, a friend, an unexpected discovery...
08.14.2011 | Unregistered Commenterellen whittier
What makes me happy? giving myself the day off and reading 2 books...guilt free....
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi
Zydeco music makes me happy. We went to a folk festival last night, and even though I couldn't dance because of a bad knee, I was happy to sit and watch the joy swirling around me while a young band of musicians-Feufollet-played up a storm and almost everyone else danced. Some people were great dancers, others were cute and klutzy, but they were all wonderful. I'm still smiling about it today!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterBridgette Hoskins
Carpet picnics with my husband watching the food channel...it just doesn't get any better ;)
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterRoberta
One thing that makes me really happy is the sweet joy from catching a little one's eyes (known or not, doesn't matter!!) and sharing a warm smile.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie Grace
On Mondays, the thought of Friday while I sip from a cup of coffee at my desk..yesss!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohna Harrison
What makes me happy? The smell, colors, breeze, and sounds of the Pacific Ocean, knitting with beautiful yarn, a delicious meal with friends, live music of almost any genre, a well-turned phrase at just the right time, listening to my loved ones as they discover their own passionate joys.

Thanks for the invitation to remember these things!
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte
I hope this doesn't make me sound like I have a problem, but a cold glass of chardonnay while I make dinner makes me happy. I can sip and chop and since my kids aren't allowed to watch TV until after 5:00, I finally get a moment of calm after the days events and before the chaos that dinner, baths and bedtime bring.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlex
happiness...being present and connecting with self and others...simple...not always easy....play well...
08.14.2011 | Unregistered Commentershelley
Singing makes me really happy.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered Commenterangel
Almost any music with a back beat makes me happy; as does Western Swing.

I feel happy and connected when someone tells me a recommendation I made worked out for them.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichael Cavitt
My two year old daughter's hardy laughter, the laugh really from the belly, makes me happy.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa
A sunset says it all to me.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarty
The smell of my children's hair. The warmth and smoothness of their little paws in mine. The sight of my husband being a happy dad. An afternoon all to myself to READ. Gorgeous book illustrations. Designing and crocheting and sewing. Singing and songwriting and dancing. And - oddly enough - appliances that work! There's nothing quite like a machine that does exactly what it's supposed to do.

Plugging away at 'GIfts of Imperfection' at the moment - thank you Brene.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarly
The dark before the dawn, watching the sun rise and hearing the world wake up. :-)
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren
How fun it is to see you two connected! I've been following you both for so long! :)
Happy = reading Winnie the Pooh to my grandson, hiking and smelling the sage, sweet corn on the cob on a summer night, the song Neverending Song of Love by Delaney and Bonnie, the sounds of the train or coyotes at midnight, watching the birds on my feeder...
and so much more! :)
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterNancy
Riding my bike makes me happy. Riding fast or far brings a feeling of elation.
08.14.2011 | Unregistered CommenterRick

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