Ree is a best-selling author, photographer, blogger, homeschooling mom, and host of her own Food Network program. She's also become a good friend to me as I continue to learn how to navigate the online world. She never fails to offer up honest-to-goodness, soulful advice when I'm struggling. 

I love this picture of Ree - it kinda says it all! 

Image by Ree Drummond

Ellen and I are also a big fans of her cookbooks! Just this past weekend we spent two hours catching up on Ree's new Food Network show, The Pioneer Woman. In case you didn't know, you can watch it on On Demand!

We're both pretty sure that we can now do 46 new things with butter and we can rope a cow if necessary! It was so fun to watch and Ellen was even inspired to make the chocolate sheet cake that Paige made in the Surprise Party episode. Yum. 

Ree's new cookbook was released in March and is currently the NYT #1 bestselling cookbook. We're having so much fun working our way through the recipes.  To celebrate the new book, we're giving away three copies! To make it fun, leave your name in the comment section along with your favorite dessert. We'll pick winners on Monday! If you're reading this in an email - jump over to the blog and leave your name in the comments, please!

I loved reading Ree's take on the topics I study. Enjoy the interview! 

On Vulnerability, Authenticity and Courage

Creativity, innovation, and truth-telling can be very vulnerable in our culture which is why we often feel deeply inspired when we see it. We’d love to know more about how you find the courage to share your authentic self and your work with the world.

1. Vulnerability is _____________________.  Scary, but it makes us human.

2. What role does vulnerability play in your work?  Sharing oneself publicly (whether it's acting, singing, writing, speaking) is an inherently vulnerable thing. I blog, write books, speak in front of people, and appear on TV, so I'm vulnerable a great deal of the time. And while vulnerability often means being open to criticism and judgment, it also means being open to new friendships, new points of view, new experiences, and new perspectives. And those are very good things.

3. What does authenticity mean to you and how do you practice it in your work?  Authenticity, to me, does not mean sharing every single corner and inch of you. It does mean being the same basic person at home that you are everywhere you go. In that sense, I do believe I practice authenticity.

The lines get a little blurry on my cooking show, when my hair and makeup are always done---and I'm wearing clean, ironed clothes. In my authentic daily life, I'm more inclined to be wearing yoga pants and my hair in a messy ponytail on top of my head. And no makeup. And no shower. And the sink is filled with dirty dishes. I'll stop now.

4. Is perfectionism an issue for you? If so, what’s one of your strategies for managing it? I am most certainly NOT a perfectionist in most areas of my life---my home, my yard, my closet, my hair, my figure. If I strove for perfection in those areas, I would be unhappy because it is unattainable: I have four children at home all the time. Cows poop in my yard. I have a cowlick. I like to eat. I would be reaching for the unreachable.

Striving for perfection would also take time, energy and focus away from the things I love doing, and would zap my creativity.

5. What inspires you?

Silence. I crave it.

Old hymns. "How Great Thou Art?" Fugghetabout it. (I smiled when I read Ree's answer. I listen to Loretta Lynn sing this everyday as my morning prayer).

Mowing the yard. I've had my very best ideas on the lawnmower. It's actually a form of silence, as the sound of the mower drowns out everything else.

6. What’s something that gets in the way of your creativity and how do you move through it?

Perfectionism! See above.

Another thing that gets in the way of my creativity is exhaustion, being overextended, and traveling too much. The more I'm away from home, the more my well runs dry. I shrivel.

7. Describe a snapshot of a joyful moment in your life. Cooking dinner with a baby on my hip.

8. Do you have a mantra or manifesto for living and loving with your whole heart?  I couldn't come up with anything better than the Prayer of St. Francis. It's everything.

Image from The Food Network

Now, for some fun!

From James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor’s Studio

What is your favorite word? Mellifluous

What is your least favorite word? Scab

What sound or noise do you love? Laughter

What sound or noise do you hate? Finger licking

What is your favorite curse word? Dangit

From JL’s Uncle Jessie Meme

A song/band/type of music you'd risk wreck & injury to turn off when it comes on the radio? Jazz. I'm sorry.

Favorite show on television? Real Housewives of Anywhere

Favorite movie? The Godfather

Best concert? Cyndi Lauper. 1985-ish.

If you could have anything put on a t-shirt what would it be? Homeschooling. There is no substitute. (Get it?)

What makes you really mad? When I can't find something I just saw hours earlier, or have seen a hundred times over the previous week. Where IS that? I just saw it! UGH!

A talent you wish you had? Singing. Like, Broadway stage singing.

Dream vacation? Anywhere in the mountains.

What’s on your nightstand? Rolaids.

Photo by Shane Bevel

What’s something about you that would surprise us?

I can put both feet behind my head.

My car was stolen at gunpoint when I was seventeen.

I've never been to Europe.

I can burp whole sentences.

From Smith Magazine’s Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six Word Memoirs from Writers Famous and Obscure

Your six-word memoir:  I Will Never Eat a Banana

Follow Ree on Twitter here!

Ree's Facebook is here!

Don't forget to leave your name and your favorite dessert to win a copy of Ree's latest cookbook!

The phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt's speech, Citizenship in a Republic. This is the passage that made the speech famous:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. 

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,

because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly . . .”

The first time I read this quote, I thought, “This is vulnerability. Everything I’ve learned from over a decade of research on vulnerability has taught me this exact lesson. Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.”

Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement.

Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose.

When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.

Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be – a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation – with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.

The book explores and answers the following questions:

1. What drives our fear of being vulnerable?

2. How are we protecting ourselves from vulnerability

3. What price are we paying when we shut down and disengage?

4. How do we own and engage with vulnerability so we can start transforming the way we live, love, parent, and lead?

As my friends and family (and editor) can tell you, it's been a very tough book process for me. I've spent the past few months bouncing back and forth between fear and courage.

For years, I drew courage from the question, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” I even own the paperweight. When I was getting ready to speak at TED this year, I pushed that question out of my head to make room for a new question: “What’s worth doing even if you fail?”

That question also drove this book which probably explains the fear and courage dance! It's the book that was worth writing - the no-holds-barred book. 

It releases on 9.13.12. You can pre-order it now from Amazon.com | Barnes&Noble.com | Books-a-Million | Indie Bound and iTunes. Many retailers have it at a discounted pre-order price. 

Stay tuned for more info on an online read-along and book plates! Thank y'all so much for your support and for Daring Greatly with me!

Photo by Scott Corron

I had the great pleasure of introducing Harriet Lerner at her book signing at Brazos Bookstore in Houston. It's not an overstatement to say that Harriet's books have changed my life. From The Dance of Anger and The Mother Dance, to The Dance of Connection, I've been dancing with Harriet for 20+ years. 

She was in Houston to talk about her new book, Marriage Rules. As always, she was wise, funny, and warm. 

The one teaching about love and partnerships that just knocked me upside the head was this: 

"If we would only listen with the same passion that we feel about wanting to be heard."  

I've been trying to practice passionate listening for the past couple of weeks and it's been a challenge. When I really listen rather than thinking and formulating my response as people are talking, the entire conversation takes on a new cadence. It's slower and there's more white space between exchanges. It's a little weird at first, but it's also very powerful.  

Thank you, Harriet! 

My One Little Word for 2012 is light. Every month I'm sharing one of my favorite quotes about light. 

This quote from Jung is inspiring me right now!

Thanks to Elan from Ninjamatics who designed these graphics.